I’m losing my mind

This one is going to be more of a vent than usual because I’m pretty stressed about everything that still needs to happen. The list of outstanding work feels endless and it’s starting to weigh on me.

For some reason, windows and trim are what keeps occupying my brain. It makes no logical sense because trim is basically the last thing that happens in a renovation. I do not need to think about it right now. But trim is the step that suddenly makes everything look finished and hides all the ugly parts of the work underneath, so I keep obsessing over it anyway and most irrationally, I’m worried about transporting it when I talked to the lumber yard and they said they could deliver for free. And yet I worry. I’ve lost my mind.

The windows are the main decision hanging over me. I basically have two options. One is to rebuild the existing wood windows myself. There are some local old wood window experts who said they would guide me through the process for about $1500. But I’m really not sure I have the energy or mental fortitude right now to lock in on basically learning a highly specialized and nearly extinct trade - at least not to the point where I will be happy with the results because I am so scrutinous of my own work. The other option is replacing them with new wood windows. That would be about $6000 for the windows and roughly another $4000 for installation. Normally I would not want to pay for install, but the situation here is complicated. There are something like three layers of siding and the framing around the windows is a mess, so it would not be a simple standard install and again, I care so much about the final result and my trust in my own work has been shaken by this whole process.

On top of that, my helper situation has been rough. He shows up for about two hours a day, does pretty bad work, and then asks for “material money” constantly. I really do want to help him because he needs the work and life has thrown him around pretty good, but it creates this constant moral and logistical dilemma. I come home expecting progress and geared up to take the torch but instead things are half done or done incorrectly. And these are highly visible issues and in all honestly fit and finish makes a huge difference to me.

I don’t even think I mentioned this in the last blog, but my shower set up is about to be luxurious as hell. High, wide rain shower with gorgeous tile and the cherry on top, a skylight. The skylight, because of the location of the shower, is going to be way closer to the edge of the roof than is advised so that’s going to require some serious attention to detail and planning to come up with a way to do this without having leaks in a year. Of course, as soon as I got a quote I decided I’m just going to handle the shower skylight myself. While I’m at it I’m also going to redo the roof decking, underlayment, and shingles where the old roof penetrations were. That’s the project for this weekend.

Right now it’s Wednesday and I’m in a bit of a sprint before Friday. The goal is to get my bedroom primed and painted and install the sputnik light fixture from my current bedroom so I can finally have some actual light in there. I’m slightly worried about the amount of drywall dust still on the walls and whether that will mess with the primer, although it may not actually matter. I also know I need to clean up all the skim coat areas around the doors and windows before painting, which is a step I really thought I had already paid someone to do.

A lot of the frustration in this project has been the people side of it. Either someone is extremely expensive and still does mediocre work, or I try to save money and get someone who does a genuinely disrespectful job. The one major exception is Jake. Jake rocks and is reasonably priced, but even he I don’t know if I can afford at this point. I have a hard time understanding these interactions because I take a lot of pride in my work. Finishing something badly would honestly bother me to the point of an existential crisis. Since starting this renovation I’ve run into a level of sloppy craftsmanship and weak work ethic that still surprises and really concerns me.

The structural engineering situation last week didn’t help either. They held the $1100 report until I paid another $500 because they said they went over the allotted time in the contract. Apparently there was a clause buried in the agreement saying they could exceed the allotted hours without notifying the client and then bill afterward. I assume at every turn that people will operate in good faith and I keep getting burned for it.

The next big interior task is the living room ceiling. Ideally my helper would drywall the ceiling and patch the walls so that either I or someone else could come in afterward and skim coat everything. Based on his work ethic, communication, and what I’ve seen so far, that is a bad idea and I will probably let him do it anyway because finding reliable help at a price I can afford has been almost impossible. At this point a lot of this project feels like choosing between imperfect options and hoping for the least painful outcome.

QC